[ic contact]

[falteringly]

SEC » 026 » 166 “You... look for purpose, and you must not be defeated by anger or despair.” ( vιdeo | aυdιo | тeхт | acтιon )

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action.

[faithlessly]

You saved Sam. You-- you're here. [ you don't avoid him as much anymore. it's nice. ]

I want to trust you, y'know. I kinda have to, here. We'll be in such deep shit if I don't. But... [ but it's not that easy. not after everything. ]

action.

[falteringly]

[ He'd never thought such a small word could cause so much insecurity. Castiel pauses, feels the entirety of him waver over it. What does he say? What should he say? ]

The circumstances aren't as they should be. [ Back home or here--is there really a difference now? ] I understand. [ Except he doesn't, but he says nothing beyond that. He starts walking again. ]

action.

[faithlessly]

No, Cas-- [ dean steps after him, hand sliding to cas' arm. ] It's just none of this is simple, okay? You were here before-- and at the beginning? You were nuts. Just-- back to bumblebees and stuff, y'know? And after that, I don't know, it was a good thing if I got any signs of life from you. Ever.

Then back home...

[ everything is so complicated. cas had tried to kill him, and now he doesn't know if cas is alive back home or not anymore. ]

I want to trust you, man. I want things to be okay but it'll just take some time.

action.

[falteringly]

[ The touch to his arm stops him, but it's not as if he has anywhere else to go. ]

I can't anticipate what it is you need from me, Dean. This is the first time you've spoken of them, and I don't know how to explain what I don't remember. [ Which bothers him. You don't know how much. ] What happened back home?

[ Since he's addressed it, they might as well discuss it. ]

action.

[faithlessly]

[ WHOOPS GON JUST FALL SILENT HERE ]

A lot. Look-- all I need is for you to be around, okay? No hiding.

[ no running away. ]

action.

[falteringly]

No hiding. [ It's not a real promise. ] Is that all?

[ He glances at Dean's hand to avoid eye contact. ]

action.

[faithlessly]

[ WOW UH SHADY MUCH CAS??? dean looks at his friend for a long silent beat. ]

Somehow I feel like I should be asking for more. Should there be something?

action.

[falteringly]

[ IT'S NOT SHADY. He's wary of this entire conversation. Castiel stares at him then. ]

I don't know what else there is to give you. [ I don't know what you could possibly want. ]

action.

[faithlessly]

How about you start trustin' me a little too, yeah?

[ or trying to, since they both seem to suck at that. ]

action.

[falteringly]

I do trust you.

[ It's that he can't trust himself, but that's for another time entirely. Castiel doesn't break Dean's gaze as he says it, as earnest as he can be with such powerful words. ]

action.

[faithlessly]

[ there's that pure honesty which dean remembers from cas from a time long gone. maybe some things don't really ever change but at the same time he has a hard time believing it. ]

Okay. Then... If something comes up, you come to me, okay? No matter what it is.

action.

[falteringly]

All right. But I would ask that you do the same in return.

[ Even if he thinks he's could do nothing to help, even if he might soon be powerless. Those are his terms. ]

action.

[faithlessly]

[ a nod. ]

Yeah, you got it. [ he'll try his best, and if cas does the same then maybe... maybe they can be as they used to. ]