( sanctum app )

[falteringly]

OOC INFORMATION

Name: dai
Contact Information: overcasts ; daiyaonna [at] gmail [dot] com
Personal Journal: adari
Age: 26
Characters Played: n/a
Who Referred you: julya and susa and everyone B(

IN-CHARACTER INFORMATION

Name: castiel
Fandom: supernatural
Age: physically: mid-30’s, actual: “before humanity”
Canon Point: 08x01 ; before meeting with Dean and Benny
Original Universe or Alternate Universe? OU

Personality:

Castiel is an angel of the Lord. Cliche, probably, but it sums up the whole of him to a point.

In general, he exhibits behaviors typical of his other brethren when he first makes an appearance in human form: little emotion, relatively calm, aloof. He lacks compassion in relating to humans as a group and as individuals. He doesn’t understand their lack of obedience or the feelings they express, continuously confused by their assertion of free will, and it often clashes with his perception of them as well as the orders he is given by his superiors. In fact, as little as he understands them as people, he understands objects, phrases, and references even less. Still, the moment he drags Dean from Hell and entangles himself with the Winchesters is the beginning of much change for Castiel. If anything can be said of that, he’s determined, and that determination drives much of him.

His time spent with Dean and Sam, as well as on earth, become a slow immersion of learning human culture as well as what differentiates humans from angels, what it means to be human. He’s loyal to a fault, but after some time, he confesses to Dean that he’s beginning to have doubts of his own about the orders he’s given and how he’s spending his time otherwise. Is it right or wrong? Is there more beyond a simple command? It’s a very big concept for someone like Castiel; thinking on his own, in that manner, tends to not have a happy ending. Re: Lucifer, Anna, humanity. Eventually, it causes him to rebel against heaven. Yet, it’s not his faith that’s rocked at the foundation. He still has absolute love and trust in God, admires humanity for its beauty, and in those things alone he sees conviction for his actions, though he continues to be naive as to the consequences of them. Most of this is seen later on, beyond season five, when he develops something of a god complex--in God’s absence, he feels it his responsibility to carry out retribution and punishment in an attempt to show mercy, taking back his opinion about free will and how all things must be ruled to maintain some semblance of order. His motivations become rather twisted, too full of pride, even if they are meant with the best of intentions.

Castiel, for the most part, minus the complex and the inevitable insanity he falls into in later seasons because of it, is generally composed and sure of the affection he shows to those he grows to care about. He’s pretty blind to social norms as well, seen many times in the way he constantly stares or invades a person’s personal space. His methods of interacting with others might be considered unorthodox or just plain weird, but the longer he’s on earth helps to humanize him more than many other angels. He becomes sympathetic and acquires a fondness for things he’d previously been indifferent towards as well, i.e. television and coffee. Yet, through this, we begin to see other parts of Castiel’s individuality shining through.

Beneath his exterior, due to the choices he has made to this point (opening Purgatory, taking the Leviathan into himself), what hubris he has displayed has become clouded by the mass guilt of what it is he’s done. Being resurrected after his body had exploded leaves him unstable and quite...simple. He sees things, once again, in their black and white nature, becoming somewhat uncertain of himself and his own actions in regards to assisting the Winchesters. Yet, pushing deeper, this is merely a coping mechanism in order to deal with the consequences—he’s running from his mistakes. Castiel is afraid of facing reality and taking responsibility for what it is he’s done. He has the death of many on his hands, his brothers and sisters, and the chaos that Heaven has become since God’s disappearance isn’t reassuring in the least. Sometimes, he is amazingly coherent, which indicates he is consciously aware of the circumstances, but it’s not until Dean digs into the wound and presses [ he needs to “clean up his mess” ] that things begin to fall into place. The old Castiel, the one with too much heart bleeds through.

Still, even trying to atone for all of this only continues to increase his awareness of what it is he’s done by manipulating the people who had trusted him. It’s a difficult thing to rebuild, and while in Purgatory, Castiel’s thinking becomes inevitably convoluted and backwards. He realizes he is not strong enough on his own to make amends or fix the things that have gone astray. Though these actions are done with good intention, it is not perceived that way at first. He abandons Dean in the middle of a monster-infested world because he thinks it will protect him. Castiel has a price on his head, the creatures he has released, put back and/or killed wanting to destroy him, and running, as always, seems to be the best available option to him. Even if it’s seen as a gesture of goodwill, a twisted right in a place of so many wrongs, it merely indicates that he would rather attempt to shoulder the brunt of his own problems and negligence than outright rely on others. He will not put them in danger, and there are other (more martyr-istic) ways to atone for these mistakes.

Whether or not he thinks he’s worthy of forgiveness, it’s a constant struggle of right versus wrong for Castiel. He’s learned that there is nothing reprehensible about asking for help, but at what price will it come later? He’s wary, a bit on the paranoid side. Trust is a difficult thing to give when everything wants him dead, and he’s far too apprehensive to hand it over without truly understanding first.

Background: wiki link
Other Notables: n/a

Inventory: ye ol’ dirty trenchcoat, medical bracelet

SAMPLES

NETWORK SAMPLE: network
LOG SAMPLE: test drive